AYAHUASCA
Before I tell you about my first encounter with ayahuasca, let’s take a look at some facts. Ayahuasca is a traditional South-American brew prepared with the Psychotria viridis plant, a source of DMT, and Banisteriopsis caapi plant which contains the alkaloids harmine and harmaline acting as monoamine oxidase inhibitors. That allows the DMT to preserve its effect after ingestion and without these alkaloids DMT is quickly broken down in the body by the enzyme monoamine oxidase.
Evidently, the purpose of the brew is to transport DMT through the blood. What is DMT, you’ll ask. DMT is a molecule, and it is really important to mention that the human body contains it. The DMT molecules are at rest for most of our lives in a small gland in the brain called the pineal gland. That is exactly what the Hindus describe as the sixth chakra and the Western mystics as the abode of the soul.
Modern medicine reluctantly admits that the function of the pineal gland has not been studied in detail. What we know is that this brain gland has an eye-like shape in amphibians and that is exactly why it is called “the third eye”. In the human body, it is deeply hidden in the brain. It is the gland that processes the information from the five senses. Prof. Strassman’s studies have shown sensational results – the DMT molecule is not formed in the body with conception. It “magically” appears on the 49th day after conceiving. Forty-nine days is the length of the period between death and birth, which is what Tibetan mystics explain also. That is the period when the spirit settles in the embryo and the formation of the human being begins. This is the period in which some changes in development take place which differentiate us from other Earth beings.
Of course, you are not obligated to accept or agree with the aforementioned position. For you, ayahuasca may simply be a hallucinogenic drug and that is completely fine. For me, however, ayahuasca is a lot more. So let’s see what happened next and how I came to this conclusion.
Pablo, the shaman, came around 5 pm and the time before it got dark we used to get to know each other. He was a pleasant man, married, and had three children. His house was further down along the river, where in a small village lived descendants of the Shipibo tribe. Before Silvi started working with him, Pablo had experience working with a man from the town in whose house he also lived.
As discussed earlier, ayahuasca is made of two plants. In Peru they are freely sold, so we could make the brew ourselves, right there in the reserve.
The shaman changed into a beautiful outfit, which resembled a priest’s cassock. He poured a little bit of the brown liquid into three small cups, and after whispering a few mantras encouraged us to drink. To my surprise, he also took a sip and after that went outside to smoke. Silvi and I remained in the cabin to chat. With time though the conversation became more mundane and boring; at some point we both decided it was better to stop talking. When Pablo walked in, he found me on the floor with my legs stretched out and my back leaning on the wall. He turned off the lights and sat down near us. Thirty minutes had passed from the moment we drank the brew. What I was sensing was the feeling we get moments before we fall asleep. The only difference was the fear sneaking in at the back of my mind. Visions appeared in my head, but feeling unsure I “escaped” them and quickly returned to the room. Insects, birds, and animals were greeting the night and I could hear the fascinating sounds surrounding the room.
I was just going into another “dream” when the shaman took action and I heard him singing. I didn’t understand the words, it sounded like an ancient language. The song was slow and gentle and evoked a sense of appreciation and respect in me. I could see my “dream” clearly – it was me in a familiar situation so I decided to go along with it. The visions I was having were synchronized with Pablo’s singing. It seemed like the shaman could see my visions and read my thoughts and so he would change the timbre to give me a cue.
The dream started to become clearer and I started to see myself in situations I had been afraid of for many years. Those were fears hidden in the deepest places of my soul. I started feeling pressure and uneasiness; I started feeling nauseous. One after another a chain of fears appeared and took form in my visions; they were as real as life itself. I was very close to the moment when I was about to vomit and that is when Pablo stopped singing. He approached me, I could hear him taking a sip from a bottle, which he sprayed on me through his mouth. It was gasoline! After that, he took another sip, approached Silvi, and did the same to her. This time though it was something different that smelled like cologne. He asked how I was doing; I responded that everything was all right and the truth was that I was really feeling better.
After making sure we were both OK, he began singing again. A new vision appeared in my mind; I saw myself in action again, but this time it was different. This time it was more like a movie at the cinema where we watch the situations between the characters and sometimes reflect on them in our minds. That is exactly how I felt – separate from the storyline and even though I could clearly see myself there, it was more of an observation of the events happening to a person I knew well. He was involved in a story familiar to me. It was a story from his past. I saw clearly what he did, and what he said, I even heard his thoughts. I saw him snuggled in his blanket, regretting his earlier actions and growing angry at himself. He kept naming himself a variety of offensive words which made me feel sorry for him.
Soon a new story began. That “friend of mine” was the main character again. He was standing in front of the mirror; I was in his head, I could hear the words, “I don’t like my personality… I don’t like the way I express myself… I don’t like the way I look – I wish I were at least a bit bulkier… I hate my job… I actually hate myself for agreeing to work at all… Yup, that’s it, I despise myself…” The stories continued, and “my friend” continued criticizing, blaming, and offending himself.
All of a sudden everything stopped and I found myself above the planet Earth. I was slowly descending and the view was simply spectacular. It wasn’t me who chose the direction, I was drawn by something and despite that, I knew exactly where I was going. I was heading to the jungle. I was on the dark side of the planet and after passing through the clouds I saw the lights of the villages below me. Soon I wasn’t drawn anymore and I simply remained floating above our cabin. I wished to go in and all of a sudden I found myself inside. There in front of me, I saw “my friend” from the visions earlier snuggled up on the floor. It seemed like he was asleep. He was leaning on the wall and his relaxed body was breathing slowly and evenly.
Contrary to his own opinion, I saw a beautiful and innocent human being; he wasn’t perfect as he wished, but he definitely was a creature one could easily love. Now I knew what he was lacking. It was love. Not the love we receive from relatives and friends. He had an abundance of it. It was the love he had stopped giving himself. I wanted to hug and kiss him while he was sleeping so leaned over him. I sank into his body.
Shortly after that Pablo approached me and said that we were finished for the evening.